First you need to calm down!!! Has she been diagnosed by a vet, that said she has Asthma! Asthma is rare in dogs, and if the vet has not told you thats what it is, then what the symptoms you are describing sound like to me is, what they call “”Reverse Sneezing”! Some dogs, do this when they get excited, pull too hard on a leash, drink water too fast, sometimes it just happens for it seems like no reason! Here are some good sites to check out that tell you all about Reverse Sneezing:
Here is a video of a little Chihuahua having a Reverse Sneeze Attack!
I know it looks scary when it happens, because I have Chihuahuas that do the same thing. What I usually do to stop it is, gently stroke their throat, to make them swallow, take them outside in the fresh air for a couple of minutes or gently rub their chest, then everything goes back to normal! I found stoking their throat, and taking them outside, really helps the most. If your dog does it really often, or an attack seems to last too long without any relief, then it’s time to have a vet check her out, just to make sure she does not have a collapsed trachea! Hope this helps!

Try to get her to an emergency vet clinic. They can confirm the diagnosis.

Animals don’t fear death, but not being able to breathe will cause panic and discomfort.

You are attributing psychological causes, which might be the case, but also look for physical causes. I had a cat who had breathing problems – turns out there was black mould in the house. She and I were the only ones who had problems – my roommate and the other two cats and the dog weren’t affected.

Also, dust. Or fleas. My cats are allergic to flea bites and they get awful sores.

You mentioned the dog was on your bed. Maybe something on the comforter? Make sure you and the vet go through all the physical possibilities before moving on to the psychological.

They can treat stress with tranquilizers and anti-depressants, if it turns out to be psychological.

Also, you are bang-on with the dog reacting to you. When I used to suffer really bad depressive episodes, my dog would gnaw on her paw until it bled. That was how she dealt with the stress. Once I was on the correct medication, I was able to become the alpha. She was happier with me in control and hasn’t gnawed herself since.

Good luck.

If you haven’t taken her to the vet, do it. She might have something besides asthma. The vet can also tell you how to treat it and prescribe medication.
Asthma isn’t caused by abuse, but asthma attacks can be provoked by anxiety.
Meanwhile, one thing that helps dog asthma as well as human asthma, is Theophylline, the stimulant that is in regular black tea or green tea (not decaffeinated). You can buy theophylline drops at a health food store, or just give her tea to drink instead of water. (Make sure she goes outside enough, as tea is also a diuretic.)
I had a dog with these symptoms. The vet prescribed theophylline tablets, but the drops from the health food store were cheaper and worked just as well for my dog.

you really need to get her in to see a vet as this sounds like something that can be treated with proper medication.

Is she a petite dog? Small dogs have a tendency to prolapse their tongue. My pomeranian has those attacks a couple of times a week. They’re frightening sounding, but my vet explained that would eventually happen if the tongue doesn’t flip back into place is that the dog will pass out, the tongue will relax, and the dog will begin breathing again. You should still get her to a vet just to make sure. The way I get my dog to stop is to very gently lift up her head. If you can, try to get her to lick something so she will stick out her tongue (but don’t feed her anything–she could choke). Frequently, that will flip the tongue back into place.

Is her collar too tight? She sounds anxious. It’s best to get her to the vet.

Just comfort her and spend time with her so she can feel good and know that you care for her. Make sure you don’t do anything to harm her. If it doesn’t work then go to the vet.

Take her to a vet ! Take her to a vet ! She could die !

Ok, has your dog been to the vet? If so, what was the advice? Is there medication? Did they give you techniques to calm the dog? What are those techniques? What is the medication?
If the dog has not been to the vet, why not? How do you know it is asthma?
It’s doubtful that she has asthma attacks because she fears suffocation or death. Dogs don’t think about consequences in the future like that.

How do you know she has asthma?

Do you even know what asthma is?

Asthma is EXTREMELY rare in dogs – I doubt that’s what the issue is here.

You need to take her to a Vet NOW.